I don’t really remember too much of that day other being ushered into my parent’s bedroom, along with my siblings. My dad held my mom’s hand and said, “We feel that God is leading us to join staff with FamilyLife. Their headquarters are in Little Rock, Arkansas. We’ll be moving.” We three kids sat silently for a moment before I did the only logical thing that a dramatic seven year old could do. I cried. Long and hard. My life was over. In the space of maybe ten minutes I had gone from being all smiles to all sobs. “How could Mom and Dad do this to me?” I thought angrily, “And more importantly, how could God do this to me? I’ve been a good kid……ok, maybe I did play with Mariah’s Barbie doll without asking, but that’s not the point. My whole life is here in Virginia. I can’t just leave!” But almost two years later, we did leave. And to be honest, I hated Little Rock with a fierce passion. Even when I tried to make friends, I was met with rejection and let me tell you, I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep. Over the next year or so, I began making a couple friends. I was even invited to a few birthday parties. But whenever I felt my cold heart begin to thaw, I would quickly shut it up with bitterness toward my parents and God. I thought that if I pouted enough, Mom and Dad would move our family back to the “promise land”. I was maybe eleven when I realized that I did not control my family; God did. And no matter how much I whined, sobbed, or pouted, I was stuck here and I might as well enjoy myself. Now looking back, I’m ashamed of my lack of faith. At the time it felt as if my world was collapsing but God was always there, helping me to be strong in the hard and frustrating times. I think that when we’re going through a trial, it’s like looking through a straw. Nothing is clear or makes sense and we think life is horrible or God’s forgotten us, just because of our perspective.
Four Reasons for Bad Times:
1. Sometimes bad things happen to us so that the power and glory of God can be revealed in and through us. I loved how Stormie Omartian used the story of the blind man in John 9 as an example of God using something that would normally be considered a tragedy to bring glory to Himself. I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the Chapman family’s story, but on May 21st, 2008 Steven Curtis Chapman’s youngest daughter Maria Sue, age five, was playing in the family’s driveway when her older brother, Will Franklin, drove into driveway and accidentally hit his little sister. She was rushed to a local hospital, but her injuries were fatal. No one knows why God allows such tragic accidents to happen. But we do know that God used this incident to bring new believers into His eternal family. God can bring glory to Himself through any situation.
2. Sometimes God allows to go through difficult times in order to make us into better people. I have personal experience with this one. The move to Arkansas was uncomfortable, but it forced me to go out of my way to make friends even when I might fall flat on my face. Believe it or not, I hate talking to people I’ve never met before. It’s awkward and weird and I would rather just have someone else talk for me. But because I can’t hire people to speak on my behalf, (I’ve already checked Craig’s List and Amazon) I have to shove the shyness deep inside me and suck it up and be friendly. I know that God has slowly started burning this bashfulness and fear out of me, one awkward conversation at a time.
3. Sometimes our misery is caused by God disciplining us. At times, bad things are kind of like getting a spanking from one of your parents. It’s painful and you don’t understand why you can’t have an easier punishment, but in the end it makes you better because you learn from your mistakes. On page 157 it says, “It never feels good to be disciplined, but we always learn something from it. It saves our lives.” If we’re guilty of a sin (and be honest, when aren’t we sinning?) God will find out about it. You can’t hide from the Creator of the Heavens and Earth simply by crawling under your covers. God is constantly working and shaping us into His likeness. And sometimes that requires Him scrubbing out the stains that are holding us back from fully giving ourselves to Him.
4. Sometimes the sorrow, sadness, grief, or pain of difficult times is entirely the work of the enemy. Satan will use anything to trap and drown us when we go through hard times. Absolutely anything. I think of someone going to a junkyard, picking up scraps that can be used for a specific purpose. Satan goes shopping in our “junkyard” looking for old bits and pieces of bitterness, anger, sorrow, pride, jealousy, depression, impatience, etc that can be used against us again and again even when we try to forget they were ever there. But let’s face it, if we try to beat the enemy by our own willpower or strength, we’ll fail miserably. God has the power to take away our horrible situation, but He can also give us the strength to hold onto Him as He walks with you through the valley of the shadow of death. God won’t give anything to you that you can’t (with His help) handle.
“We All Need Somebody to Lean On…”
When we’re going through a hard situation, sometimes we just need a hug, a nice cup of hot chocolate, and encouragement from a friend. And you, lovely ladies, are the kind of people that I know I can go to about anything. Every time we meet together I see you all living out Proverbs 17:17 which says, “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” A true friend can go through something horrible, turn around, and use their experience to help someone else. Page 159, “Suffering increases your compassion for the sufferings of others.” Use this suffering to bring glory to God! Don’t let your circumstances determine your emotions. Ladies, our joy comes from Christ, so we can have peace and happiness even when the sky is falling. Pray through the pain and God will bring something beautiful out of it. You may even be able to encourage someone else using your experiences. With God, the possibilities are endless.
Much love,
Bethany
Romans 12:12
Wow Bethany this is awesome!!! Thank you so much for all of that i loved reading it :)
ReplyDeleteSorry guys i have not been on this yet, ive been so busy ever since summer started and i also kept forgetting to check this but now i finally did!;)
Who is this? I'm not sure what the numbers mean. My husband thinks someone replied without logging in. It looks like you have to login with your gmail account name and password before you comment so everyone will know who commented. Or you can just sign your name at the end of you post.
DeleteIt's Amy. I asked her about it at church this morning :)
DeleteThank you! I totally enjoyed myself while writing it! :)
ReplyDeleteWonderful Bethany! Thank you, I enjoyed reading this and got a lot out of what you had to say...Sorry I havent been consistant with the blog, everytime I try to type something it doesnt work so Ive been frustrated recently ;)
ReplyDeleteI agree. I love the blog but I had trouble, too. I wrote about 2 pages of response to a post and when I pushed "publish", it vanished!!! Such a bummer. I am learning that I need to copy what I wrote and paste it onto a word document before I push Publish.
DeleteThe one paragraph about the enemy working in my life really touched me. Coming back from OGN, I am open to seeing how Satan will try to discourage me when thinking about the people I've talked to, some getting them thinking about the Gospel, others not so much. I must remember God is on my side, and God can take away the evil thoughts Satan tries to push into me.
ReplyDelete1. I'm so thankful that you got something out of this post, Carley! That's the best feedback ever :) Don’t get frustrated, because I have a tendency to overthink what I want to say and then I get writer's block. I was praying that God would control my fingers as I typed this post up and He did! It sounds weird, but I honestly didn't know what I was saying until I was finished and I read the post through. You'll do great on your chapter, Carley! Love ya!
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ReplyDeleteThe thiing that stood out most to me was number 2: Sometimes God allows us to go through difficult times in order to make us into better people. THIS IS SO TRUE! I admit that i have never had to go through something as terrible as losing a family member or close friend or life-threatening illness or moving out of state and into an entirely different life, but my experience with elbow surgery was hard for me. I wish i had been as close to God back then as I am now, but looking back, i see SO CLEARLY that God used that experience to make me into a better person. Through quitting gymnastics and then the whole drama with Mikhail, He showed me that nothing in life is as dependable as God. Thiings like gymnastics and boys will never last and will eventually be taken away from you, but God will always be there. It stinks that sometimes it takes something as rattling as surgery to teach a person a lesson or to bring them closer to God, but i'm so thankful for that experience because through it i learned things that are shaping me into a better person with a better outlook on life.
ReplyDeletegreat job on the post Bethany :) I love how you used your own personal example of moving to Arkansas and seeing how it really turned out to be a great thing!
Thanks Rachel! That means so much to me!! :)
DeleteWow. I need to increase my vocabulary. This is not the fifth time in a week I'm speechless.
ReplyDeleteNumber four stood out to me a ton. I ended up talking to a fellow OGNer about Job. And also a different OGNer about Job again. And there was even a sermon about it. God isn't the one sending everything: he's allowing Job to be tested. In the end, he is blessed beyond measure for his steadfast faith. Just another reminder that God works all things for good. :)
Bethany, so glad you stepped in to post on Chapter 15. I hope Coplea will be able to do one when she gets back. I appreciate Rachel taking the admin job of keeping on top of it while I was gone. Guess we all need reminders to post. Glad you did it!
ReplyDeleteOK, I have to confess, I am not going to be getting around to reading the chapter so I am glad you summarized it and I will comment on your post and not on the chapter. I know I am bad but I have been at the computer all day just trying to catch up on life. It is amazing how much there is to do once you get back from a trip!
Rachel, indeed that surgery and "losing" gymnastics was a tough time for you. It is so cool that now that you are thru it, you can look back and see the good in it.
So often, when we are in a situation, we cannot see the forest from the trees. I try to look at it like God would be...he sees our whole time line and we only see the dot of the timeline, the dot is the place we are right now. We don't see the "later" or the down the road yet when we get down the road we can look back and see the "why" That makes life hard, yet a mystery and even more the reason we can see that God is in control and we are not.
I really really liked how you made this very personal and how that whole move thing continues to bring you closer to the Lord. That was such a big part of your life and I know that it truly impacted you. It is great to see how the Lord used that experience to grow you closer to Him and that you are in a better place now in spite of it.
Yes, when bad things happen, it takes every ounce of what we have to accept it as the Lord’s will. That is sooooo tough for anyone. I did know all about that Steven Curtis Chapman story and I will never be able to understand how the Lord could do that and how the family can cope with that. It sure does take a lot of faith and trust in the Lord to come through a situation like that. If we don’t have faith, trust and hope, tho, where would we be? Most people without God would give up. We need to go on. We need Him to be the Footprints in the Sand, to carry us when we are not strong enough to do it on our own.
Sometimes the “bad things” that happen are simply an outcome of our bad decisions, which we bring on ourselves. Some are avoidable and some are not. The avoidable ones are the ones which we can prevent by not making foolish choices. Staying in the word and close to His plans will help us to avoid heartache and pain. Satan is just waiting for us to mess up so he can step in and mess us up further. So, put on the full armor of God!!
Thanks for the notes about how the girls in the group are lifting you up, Bethany. Yes, we all need one another in the good times and in the bad. That is why being honest, about what we are going thru, with one another is so helpful. We want to be there to encourage one another. I do love how we are living out Prov 17:17, and with God’s favor, we can do this up thru graduation! Let’s continue to grow closer and to be real with one another. I am not sure if you know this by now, but this group is very special and not many teen girls have the privilege of a group like this. I am blessed to be a part of it.