A snippet of Abi's journey

(Caution: Don't start reading unless you have a big chunk of time! Haha!)

Hey ladies!

I want to say, first of all, that I'm so sorry that I have not been as involved on here as I'd like to be... I haven't commented on all the chapter entries, and I'm behind in reading my book! Things have been hectic around here lately! From France, to San Diego, to Texas... I've been everywhere! I feel stressed and overwhelmed a lot - I thought that wasn't supposed to happen in the summer?! So here's to make up for my absence the past few weeks!

I began writing this entry as a summary of everything that has happened over the past few weeks... But France ended up taking over it all! (;  So maybe OGN can come later... I know that Katie and Carley will have some input on that too. So enjoy... here's a novel I spontaneously decided to write!

France was incredible! I've shared with some of you, but most of you I haven't even talked to since I've been back! It was life-changing. Not anything like I was expecting. You all heard my stress and uneasiness about the situation, not knowing if it was God's calling, not knowing if everything would get done, etc. But there is not a shadow of a doubt in my mind, that the trip was planned intentionally by God LONG before the thought ever came to my dad, or to myself. God knew what He was doing.

Being in France, I came alive. I felt a sense of belonging, strangely enough, in an area that I had never been before, with people I didn't really know that well at first. After the first few hours with the Sullivans, I felt right at home and a part of their family. They welcomed me in just as their own. I felt a connection with the kids that I don't think I could have, had I not walked in their shoes, just five or six years prior. I connected with the parents and learned so much from them, because for the first time, I was able to have a new perspective of life as a missionary, the perspective that my parents had while we were living in Tunisia, that I never really knew about. 

There were many nights spent sitting on the couches of their living room, after the kids had gone to bed, crying sometimes of sadness, sometimes of joy. We spent time in prayer together, in a way that I had never experienced before. I saw immediate answers to prayers, in ways I never would have expected. As God spoke through me, with words of encouragement and sharing of my experiences from Africa, God taught me things about myself that I had never known before.  

Being in France, I felt a real connection with God, and I truly felt His presence day in and day out. I unpackaged the nicely wrapped God that the American culture displays, to find a God that dares to be dangerous, and calls me live life on the edge, solely depending on Him. In one moment (that I can tell you about more vividly in person), God was with me in a very tangible way and He protected me from danger when no one else could have. (It's a pretty cool story - I'd love to share it with y'all soon!) 

Words will never do justice to explain my feelings, I know that for sure. One thing I do know, that experience changed my life in a way that will effect my future. I have new desires, hopes and dreams of the way that I want to live out my life. God had already placed it on my heart to go out into all the world and share the love of God to the least of these, but being in the little town of Besançon, my calling was confirmed. In the past year, I've wrestled with feeling dissatisfied and uneasy being in my little bubble of Little Rock Christian and Fellowship Bible Church, and the culture that I live every day in West Little Rock. And now I understand why. Because God created me, and He created each of y'all to live so much more than this. I've learned I'm "wired that way" (as I've been learning with Ms. Jeanne!) to live a dangerous life. To live a life with one goal, one hope, one purpose. And that's to proclaim His name and to bring glory to HIS NAME ONLY. Not mine, not my family's, not my friends', but the true God, the one creator, the only Savior.

Now I'm home, and I'm wishing I was still there. Although I do love my Sonic runs and trips to Target! (;  But my challenge now is to find a way out of that bubble, while still here. And it's tough. I'm faced with so many things that aren't even an issue overseas... Materialism, business, boys... Haha! And so it's a battle that we as believers have to fight everyday. But with hard work, but mainly God's strength, we get a little bit better at it each day! And I'm thankful to have friends like y'all fighting alongside me (;